


The Other Mary Jane

by chewysugar



Category: Avengers (Comics), Captain America (Comics), Marvel (Comics), Spider-Man (Comicverse)
Genre: Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Marijuana, Post-Civil War (Marvel), Recreational Drug Use, referenced sexual content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-01 19:55:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16290746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chewysugar/pseuds/chewysugar
Summary: Everybody needs something to help them get by. Spider-Man is no different, much to the surprise of Captain America.





	The Other Mary Jane

**Author's Note:**

> My headcanon has Peter being a stoner. 
> 
> What prompted me to put words to document? Well, in four days cannabis becomes legal in my country, so...yeah...

It had to be Cap who found out his dirty little secret. Of course it did. It couldn’t have been somebody like, say, Tony, or Natasha, or even Wanda.

Tony wouldn’t have cared. Guilty of imbibing substances galore, he’d have just shrugged and likely asked for a hit. Natasha was the last person in the multiverse who could point fingers at anyone for doing something morally objectionable by the standards of Conservatism. Those fingers had, after all, closed around the throats of countless people and rendered them lifeless. Besides, she couldn’t be bothered with anything unrelated to her life.

As for Wanda...well, she’d rewritten reality. She’d have completely understood New York City’s friendly neighborhood Spider-Man needing to cut loose once or twice a day.

But it had to be Captain America. Good old boy lost in a world that didn’t have time for such a sunny disposition.

Peter didn’t lose his cool when he saw Steve’s stoic face borderline glaring at him from the side of the rooftop. The calm had set in by that point. He glided along invisible waves on the ocean, every thought and emotion for once just clouds drifting overhead.

“Hell of a night, huh Boy Scout?” Lounging on a massive web between Cap’s building and the one less than fifty feet across from it, Spider-Man knew that he was perfectly safe. Steve wouldn’t dare rip the hammock of silvery, solid webbing down, or try to tread on it. Mostly because, despite his sedated mindframe, Spider-Man wouldn’t hesitate to dislocate the man’s jaw.

“You’re smoking,” Cap said.

Spider-Man rolled his eyes. The cool night air felt good on his bare face. Had his dulled spider senses detected a stranger, he would have jammed his mask back on and gotten the Dickens out of Dodge. But this was only Cap.

“Yes,” Spider-Man said, matching the other’s grave tone. “I am.” He hesitated to add “What of it” because he knew that Steve would start on his anti-drug spiel regardless.

“Why?”

“Because I’m an adult? Because my parents died when I was a child? Because my uncle lost his life thanks to my mistake, as did my first girlfriend? Because I’ve seen things you people wouldn't believe: attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion and all that jazz.”

“Excuse me?"

“Geez, Stevie. Watch a movie some time.” Peter idly rolled the stub of his joint between his fingers. The smolder had burnt out, and so he groped for the lighter likewise affixed to his web.

Cap grunted, likely in disapproval. Fortunately he kept his icy distance. Sparks flew; a flame sprouted at the end of the lighter like a miniature beacon. Spider-Man put the nug to his lips, and barely suppressed a smirk when he noticed Steve’s brows crease.

“Am I going to have to turn you in?”

Spider-Man inhaled slowly, then quickly let the smoke leave. It spiraled in the frosty autumn air before him like languid dragon’s breath. Would that he’d exhaled in Cap’s face. But he didn’t want to escalate tensions. The idiotic civil war that had torn the Avengers apart had been stupid enough in its origins. He didn’t much fancy starting a tiff over something as trivial as a harmless dance with the green. Besides, the interruption notwithstanding, Cap was good people.

“Not if you don’t want to keep your testicles in tact,” Spidey said. “Seriously, Cap. Don't be a whistleblower. I get you don't get it, but it's not going to help anyone's views of you being a goody two shoes."

“I’m not going to,” Cap said, almost shamefully. Below—mercifully far below—traffic whirred. New Yorkers laughed, swore, shouted and pissed on alley walls. Sirens blared in the distance, but Spider-Man didn’t move. There were plenty of other heroes, and this just happened to be something of a coffee break.

“Great! You know, you’re not as much of a stiff as everyone says you are.”

“Does it help?”

Spider-Man chuckled, and flicked the last bit of his used joint away. “Hell yes it does. Depends on what you use though. This itsy bitsy spider likes the calm stuff, not the wacky stuff. Life is chaos enough without paranoia and dizziness.”

“Oh.” Steve set his shield on the rooftop, and sat on the edge of the building. He seemed entirely out of his element—Alice gazing at the madness and awe of Wonderland. Again, Spider-Man chuckled. He imagined  Cap as Alice and himself as the Caterpillar, smoking a big hookah and answering in unhelpful cryptics.

Pronouncing the h with emphasis, Peter said “W _h_ y the long face?”

“I just... It was wrong when I was young.”

“So was gay marriage, female empowerment and black people drinking from the same water fountain as you.” Spider-Man sighed, and sat up straighter. “You know how hard it is for everyone right now, right?”

“Yes.”

“Some of us need more to cope than the knowledge that we’re fighting the good fight.”

Cap nodded. “That makes sense.” He frowned. Then: “Does she know?”

At that, Spider-Man really did laugh. It was probably the green, because Steve’s statement wasn’t all that funny. Nor was it any of his goddamn business. But still. The fact that they were even having this little after school special of a conversation was highly amusing.

“Steve, she was the one who introduced me to it. Here’s a picture for you: a teenage outcast with a lot on his shoulders who goes to a rough inner city school. He meets a party girl and they get friendly. A few house parties in, and she lets him try some dank weed.”

And again, all Cap said was “Oh.”

Peter was almost insulted. "Oh" was pithy. "Oh" barely covered the fact that Mary Jane—the beautiful, vibrant human—had only wanted the best for him. They both needed a little helping hand to get by. And damn it if the effects weren’t amazing. She made sure they both stayed responsible, especially given his status as a hero. And he made sure it never became too much of a crutch for either of them.

Again, the power of the herb lured him into paths of the overshare. “Besides, there’s nothing like being high and having sex. It’s amazing.”

Captain America stared at him, mouth agape. And Spider-Man laughed all the more. Once the roll of humor had ebbed, the wall crawler sighed. Some of the buzz had started to wear off. He needed to go home and reacquaint himself with the topic their conversation had turned toward. Plus, he was starting to get mighty hungry.

He leapt off the web and landed on the rooftop next to Captain America. The super soldier wrinkled his nose.

“Yeah,” Spider-Man said. “I guess that’s a point towards you. I don’t exactly smell like a rose right now.” He'd been patrolling for hours, and the combination of sweat and pot smoke didn't make for a pleasant bouquet. 

“But it helps.”

Spider-Man nodded. “Tons. Are we good? Or are you still going to narc on me?”

Steve shook his head. “No. You’re completely right.”

“In my hands it’s not the worst,” Spider-Man said. As it stood at that moment, Cap was a mere nuisance in what had been a private cocoon. And, again, he wasn’t a bad person. In all honesty, Peter liked the guy. “There are people out there who run away with it.”

Cap snorted. “There are people who run away with power.”

“And my green friend helps take the sting out when those people make things too hard.”

“Can I get some, do you think?”

Peter stared. So long, in fact, that Cap started to worry. “Spider-Man? Are you alright?”

“Hm? Oh. Yeah. Kosher. I was just wondering if I’d started a bad trip.”

“I know it’s unusual,” Cap said. “Tony still finds it hilarious that I’ve barely touched liquor at this point. It’s just...I need something too.” He looked Spider-Man in the face. The webhead felt a strange pang somewhere under his ribs. Steve wasn’t just a hero and paragon of perfect patriotism. He was a human being. One who’d awoken in a chaotic world, with nobody from his past to bolster him. Who didn’t need a little spark when the straight and narrow got a little too straight?

Peter smiled. Then he tugged his mask over his face, and said, “Sure thing, Steve. You know Johnny Storm, right?”

“It's kind of hard not too.”

“Ask him. He’ll hook you up. And make sure you’re with someone you trust. Hell, I’ll hang out with you if you’d like your first time.”

Cap looked as if he’d just been proposed to. “You’d do that for me?”

“Sure. You’re my teammate and my friend.” He paused, an unpleasant memory surfacing. “Besides, if your tolerance was as rock bottom as mine was back in the day, I don’t want you tripping balls alone.”

“It was bad for you the first time?”

“Yes. I puked in a gigantic vase outside of a movie theater. I don’t want that happening to you.”

Cap smiled again. “Thanks Peter. I appreciate it.”

“Anytime.” With that, he fired a web and took to the streets. Swinging while stoned was euphoric. But helping a friend? Not even weed could top the pleasant warmth coursing through his veins.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think!


End file.
